but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
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