Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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