he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
