So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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