i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
