Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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