Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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