Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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