Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize