The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
