During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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