The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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