I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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