I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
