Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
