I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
