if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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