you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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