I wish I could teleport
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize