2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
