break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize