bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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