Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
