Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
