I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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