Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm like, not good at living.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
