Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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