Duck Duck Cougar?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
