oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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