Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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