the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
