dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
