Do you still have your period?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
