I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
