people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
