The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So vagazzling was a success
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
