I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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