O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
