we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
