so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
