What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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