I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
home. puking in laundry basket.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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