So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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