honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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