Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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