so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize