maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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