Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
