why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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