You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
