Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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