Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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