Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Actions speak louder than pants.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
