Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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