I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
