is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
