I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
