I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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