good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she pinky promised me she was 18
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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