hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
