she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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