The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
