Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
